Sure, I could focus on what I’m not doing (yet). Make note of and draw attention to, say, the exercise regime of my ‘ideal self’ to-do list…

I could feel bad about how different/better/healthier I might be if I had actually dedicated myself as I planned to from the beginning. And while this might portrayed as a natural part of the helpful motivational ploy to become all you could be, it seems to me a cruel and unnecessary torture. But then I am sweetened by life’s invitation, not frightened/motivated into ‘change for the better’ designed to correct some flaw of personal commitment to necessary goods.

What about you?

Are you thrust into ‘positive’ action by the harsh reminder of who you could be “if only…”? Do you find comfort in the ‘potential’ beyond now, and want for things as a means to a much improved end? If so, chances are you are not sweetened by life’s invitation as I am. Chances are you prefer the lash, the battle, the school and the mountain climb to what you meaningfully call “success!”


83989-betty-page-fun-club-whipAnd if this is your way?

…your unique style of getting things done, then how do you make peace with that? Or perhaps more to the point, can you fully accept and celebrate who you are right now when you’re motivated by the challenge to be more?

It’s an interesting proposition. One might even call it a paradox. And once we have spent enough time looking at “self” through the theories of others, it’s the way we navigate the realisation of who we are (untouched by interpretation) that really matters.

While we can take all the self-love and spiritual awareness courses on the planet in an effort to be more or embody our potential, it is never going to resolve the paradox. What we need is to see the paradox for what it is. We need to recognise that what lies at the intersection of knowing 1) being more = I reject who I am now, and 2) being motivated by transformative potential = my unique wholeness, is a great self-awareness truth yet to be fully explored on the planet at this time.


Let me give you an example.

Say I practice heart opening and self-acceptance techniques in order to bring balance into my lifestyle. Well, ultimately i’m problematising who I am now and using counter-methods to solve the problem of being ‘me’. Being able to see that my approach has made me a problem to solve is one thing. Being able to see this problematising as sacred, a function of my wholeness and an integral part of my purpose, is another thing altogether.


It is our cultural instinct to assess what’s going on against the pre-made picture we carry around in our attachment to outcomes and intentions. Without going too deeply into the why and how of all this, I can tell you that our pre-made picture is a) useful, and b) biased. What’s important to remember here is that we’re looking to ‘balance’ our lives in order to live as we envision balance to be. And while there is nothing inherently wrong or pathological in carrying on as we have done up until reading this article, this is your invitation to escape the paradox.



What would change if you no longer felt the need to impose balance because you recognised the harmony and beauty already present in everything you do, everyone you know, and everywhere you exist? Let’s find out…

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